DeMarcus the Sea Pig

this is a story about DeMarcus the Sea Pig. (told in first person)

As I woke up, my bubble house was particularly bubbly. I walked over to the bubble generator in the next room over. There was a tyrannobdella rex feasting on the bubble control box. This made more bubbles shoot out. I tried to get the large leech off of the control box, but my jelly-like body was too wobbly. I decided to go to my friend, Mr. Handfish.
I nudged open the door with my greasy body, and I slurped outside. The water was nice and warm. As I walked to Mr. Handfish's house, I noticed that Jarvis McBlobfish wasn't tending to his seatree plants. This was odd because Jarvis is almost always near his seatrees.
Anyway, I made my way down the road to Mr. Handfish's house. I glopped up the steps to his front door, and slammed myself against it (I couldn't knock. I have no hands).
My slamming against the door made a small squirt sound. Mr. Handfish opened his door. He looked ill, and there were spots of blood on his face.
"Mr. Handfish?" I said. He didn't respond. That's when I knew something was terribly wrong. I strained my "neck" around to see the back of Mr. Handfish's head. A nemertean was nestled into the gooey part of Mr. Handfish's head, and it appeared to be sucking something out. That's when I realized what was happening. The nemertean was sucking out Mr. Handfish's brain!
I stumbled back and oozed down the steps. I wobbled as fast as I could down the road to see if Jarvis McBlobfish was alright. I slammed against Jarvis's door. Again, it produced a squirt sound. Jarvis pushed open his door. He looked normal. I slid through the door and into his front hall. "What's wrong?," said Jarvis. I waved my head in Mr. Handfish's direction. A worried look crossed Jarvis's eyes. Without a word, he slammed the door and bolted it shut.
"Jarvis, what's going on?" I gurgled.
"It's happening again," he replied.
"What are you talking about? What's happening again?"
"The rise of the nemerteans. This was what that strange old narwhal lady told me back in the Gulf of Mexico. I should've believed her," Jarvis said sadly.
"Please explain, Jarvis," I said.
"Well, a long time ago, our king was a nemertean. He was a terrible ruler. He had an army of secret agents who would go and suck the brains out of anyone who said anything bad about something that the king liked. My cousin, Gerald, said that he hated asparagus, and the secret police came in a heartbeat and gave him the Sockblocker."
I gasped. "The Sockblocker?!" I shouted. They actually gave him the SOCKBLOCKER?!"
"They gave him the Sockblocker or my name isn't Jarvis McBlobfish." Jarvis paused. There was an awkward silence. It didn't last long, however. There was a loud thump on the door. Jarvis slithered over to the front hall. "Quick!" he said. "Hide in the closet!"
I shuffled to the closet, and crammed myself as far in as I could. Jarvis came over and slammed the door behind me. The thumping on the front door continued. I could here Jarvis slurping up to the front door. The thumping stopped, and there was a loud cracking sound. The door had burst open, and Jarvis screamed.
There was a loud thump, and all was silent. I slowly nudged my way out of the linen closet. I peeked around the corner, and I saw Jarvis and Mr. Handfish on the ground. They were both dead (may they rest in peace). The nemertean was squirming around on the ground. It was making loud, unpleasant growling noises. I walked over to it and stepped on it, and it exploded. I then went home and ate some spaghettios.