Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Belated Friday Funtime
well a large city is five square miles across. How large does that make the city (in square miles)?
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Coughity coughCoff
A coughing zebra was hungry so he went to the grocery store but the grocery store was out of food so the zebra went to his grandpa's house for some bread and tea but his grandpa didn't have any food because he sold it to Jebidiah (down the hall) and the grocery store was all out so the zebra walked to Jebidiah's door and asked for some food but Jebidiah didn't have any because he was your mother.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Sorrryyyy
Well I haven't made any posts in a bit bacuz I got AC: Brotherhood. I play it a lot. But here's a question: What if someone walked up to you, punched you in the face, but then gave you a 50 dollar bill? Would you be mad? answer this one in the comments section if you are actually a real person, which you probably aren't. I'm probably just writing this for my own amusement.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Chins
a chin walked into a bar and said, "do you have any fries?" and the bartender said, "sorry, we don't serve chins here," and the chin said "i didn't ask for chins, i asked for fries."
Friday, November 12, 2010
Friday Funtime
TOday's friday FuNtImE is:
a man has a hat made of solid gold. if he puts on the hat, takes it off, spins around, puts the hat back on, takes it off, goes back in time five seconds, puts the hat on again while his other past self is putting on the hat, takes it off, goes back in time to before he puts on hat, puts on the hat, waits until his past self puts on the hat, takes off the hat, and puts it back on.
the question is: How many total seconds is he wearing the hat for?
a man has a hat made of solid gold. if he puts on the hat, takes it off, spins around, puts the hat back on, takes it off, goes back in time five seconds, puts the hat on again while his other past self is putting on the hat, takes it off, goes back in time to before he puts on hat, puts on the hat, waits until his past self puts on the hat, takes off the hat, and puts it back on.
the question is: How many total seconds is he wearing the hat for?
DeMarcus the Sea Pig
this is a story about DeMarcus the Sea Pig. (told in first person)
As I woke up, my bubble house was particularly bubbly. I walked over to the bubble generator in the next room over. There was a tyrannobdella rex feasting on the bubble control box. This made more bubbles shoot out. I tried to get the large leech off of the control box, but my jelly-like body was too wobbly. I decided to go to my friend, Mr. Handfish.
I nudged open the door with my greasy body, and I slurped outside. The water was nice and warm. As I walked to Mr. Handfish's house, I noticed that Jarvis McBlobfish wasn't tending to his seatree plants. This was odd because Jarvis is almost always near his seatrees.
Anyway, I made my way down the road to Mr. Handfish's house. I glopped up the steps to his front door, and slammed myself against it (I couldn't knock. I have no hands).
My slamming against the door made a small squirt sound. Mr. Handfish opened his door. He looked ill, and there were spots of blood on his face.
"Mr. Handfish?" I said. He didn't respond. That's when I knew something was terribly wrong. I strained my "neck" around to see the back of Mr. Handfish's head. A nemertean was nestled into the gooey part of Mr. Handfish's head, and it appeared to be sucking something out. That's when I realized what was happening. The nemertean was sucking out Mr. Handfish's brain!
I stumbled back and oozed down the steps. I wobbled as fast as I could down the road to see if Jarvis McBlobfish was alright. I slammed against Jarvis's door. Again, it produced a squirt sound. Jarvis pushed open his door. He looked normal. I slid through the door and into his front hall. "What's wrong?," said Jarvis. I waved my head in Mr. Handfish's direction. A worried look crossed Jarvis's eyes. Without a word, he slammed the door and bolted it shut.
"Jarvis, what's going on?" I gurgled.
"It's happening again," he replied.
"What are you talking about? What's happening again?"
"The rise of the nemerteans. This was what that strange old narwhal lady told me back in the Gulf of Mexico. I should've believed her," Jarvis said sadly.
"Please explain, Jarvis," I said.
"Well, a long time ago, our king was a nemertean. He was a terrible ruler. He had an army of secret agents who would go and suck the brains out of anyone who said anything bad about something that the king liked. My cousin, Gerald, said that he hated asparagus, and the secret police came in a heartbeat and gave him the Sockblocker."
I gasped. "The Sockblocker?!" I shouted. They actually gave him the SOCKBLOCKER?!"
"They gave him the Sockblocker or my name isn't Jarvis McBlobfish." Jarvis paused. There was an awkward silence. It didn't last long, however. There was a loud thump on the door. Jarvis slithered over to the front hall. "Quick!" he said. "Hide in the closet!"
I shuffled to the closet, and crammed myself as far in as I could. Jarvis came over and slammed the door behind me. The thumping on the front door continued. I could here Jarvis slurping up to the front door. The thumping stopped, and there was a loud cracking sound. The door had burst open, and Jarvis screamed.
There was a loud thump, and all was silent. I slowly nudged my way out of the linen closet. I peeked around the corner, and I saw Jarvis and Mr. Handfish on the ground. They were both dead (may they rest in peace). The nemertean was squirming around on the ground. It was making loud, unpleasant growling noises. I walked over to it and stepped on it, and it exploded. I then went home and ate some spaghettios.
As I woke up, my bubble house was particularly bubbly. I walked over to the bubble generator in the next room over. There was a tyrannobdella rex feasting on the bubble control box. This made more bubbles shoot out. I tried to get the large leech off of the control box, but my jelly-like body was too wobbly. I decided to go to my friend, Mr. Handfish.
I nudged open the door with my greasy body, and I slurped outside. The water was nice and warm. As I walked to Mr. Handfish's house, I noticed that Jarvis McBlobfish wasn't tending to his seatree plants. This was odd because Jarvis is almost always near his seatrees.
Anyway, I made my way down the road to Mr. Handfish's house. I glopped up the steps to his front door, and slammed myself against it (I couldn't knock. I have no hands).
My slamming against the door made a small squirt sound. Mr. Handfish opened his door. He looked ill, and there were spots of blood on his face.
"Mr. Handfish?" I said. He didn't respond. That's when I knew something was terribly wrong. I strained my "neck" around to see the back of Mr. Handfish's head. A nemertean was nestled into the gooey part of Mr. Handfish's head, and it appeared to be sucking something out. That's when I realized what was happening. The nemertean was sucking out Mr. Handfish's brain!
I stumbled back and oozed down the steps. I wobbled as fast as I could down the road to see if Jarvis McBlobfish was alright. I slammed against Jarvis's door. Again, it produced a squirt sound. Jarvis pushed open his door. He looked normal. I slid through the door and into his front hall. "What's wrong?," said Jarvis. I waved my head in Mr. Handfish's direction. A worried look crossed Jarvis's eyes. Without a word, he slammed the door and bolted it shut.
"Jarvis, what's going on?" I gurgled.
"It's happening again," he replied.
"What are you talking about? What's happening again?"
"The rise of the nemerteans. This was what that strange old narwhal lady told me back in the Gulf of Mexico. I should've believed her," Jarvis said sadly.
"Please explain, Jarvis," I said.
"Well, a long time ago, our king was a nemertean. He was a terrible ruler. He had an army of secret agents who would go and suck the brains out of anyone who said anything bad about something that the king liked. My cousin, Gerald, said that he hated asparagus, and the secret police came in a heartbeat and gave him the Sockblocker."
I gasped. "The Sockblocker?!" I shouted. They actually gave him the SOCKBLOCKER?!"
"They gave him the Sockblocker or my name isn't Jarvis McBlobfish." Jarvis paused. There was an awkward silence. It didn't last long, however. There was a loud thump on the door. Jarvis slithered over to the front hall. "Quick!" he said. "Hide in the closet!"
I shuffled to the closet, and crammed myself as far in as I could. Jarvis came over and slammed the door behind me. The thumping on the front door continued. I could here Jarvis slurping up to the front door. The thumping stopped, and there was a loud cracking sound. The door had burst open, and Jarvis screamed.
There was a loud thump, and all was silent. I slowly nudged my way out of the linen closet. I peeked around the corner, and I saw Jarvis and Mr. Handfish on the ground. They were both dead (may they rest in peace). The nemertean was squirming around on the ground. It was making loud, unpleasant growling noises. I walked over to it and stepped on it, and it exploded. I then went home and ate some spaghettios.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Oh, No!
Oh jeez. I forgot to make another post on monday, but i skipped on tuesday cuz i was sick. I will try everything I can to make this blog warm and happy again. Do you know what else is warm
and happy? Jackalopes.
and happy? Jackalopes.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Helo
hi to the (maybe) 1 person who actually reads this. I didn't post anything yesterday cuz i was elsewhere without a compooter. Anyhoo, today's random word of the day = Jelly.
Friday, November 5, 2010
TGI it's friday.
well it's friday and the week has gone by. so i will make a friday funtime in which I will post a riddle that i made up and then you have to solve it. (hint: you won't be able to solve it).
RIDDLE:
What has three legs but can't walk, grows five feet taller every few days, but will never reach the sky?
answer in comments.
RIDDLE:
What has three legs but can't walk, grows five feet taller every few days, but will never reach the sky?
answer in comments.
Random Sammich
well this is a blog that is random things and such in that matter. you will see many random things that will happy you and your pals. or sad them. whatever works. i never capitalize right now, so don't bothered.
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